Looking Up

Finally

A clear night after months of rain

My mind sees you

Looking up

No lights but the ones above you

Distant lanterns embedded in the blue.

 

A feeling

A tingling in my back

In the core of my heart

Leap up, Open the window

Peer into the darkness with tired eyes

The chill wind tells me what to do.

 

Grab the dressing gown

Creep Downstairs

Open the back door slowly

 

I stand alone on the empty patio

Stones unmarked by footprints

Grass freshly cut and still long

 

I still don’t know what compelled me that night

To imagine that you might be there

I convinced myself I’d see you

Looking up

No lights

But the ones above you

Distant lanterns embedded in the black

And supernovas reflected in your eyes.

Friends

The Trees may house their
Smaller companions
The wind may carry the birds

The rocks provide shelter for
Tiny sea creatures
The grass may feed the herds

The Earth is friends with
Itself and its children
We all thrive on eachother

One human alone
Can not survive unless
It has another

Desperate Romantics

In recent weeks on BBC1 i have watched Desperate Romantics and discovered that although there are some crude and womanizing themes, it is rather interesting to find out how the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood came to paint their masterpieces.

In my GCSE Art project this year I am studying Ophelia by John Everett Millais, as the use of nature and natural forms contrasts well with the unnatural suicide of Ophelia.

Heroes

People will make heroes out of anything, fictional characters, F1 drivers, TV stars, the really famous people. I have very few heroes that other people would call heroes, but those that i do have are models and those who photograph them, because the photographs are usually gorgeous.

 

Kate Moss is one of my favourite models, because she has started so many trends, like the trend of looking overly thin, which isn't such a great thing, but waistcoats, micro-shorts, wayfarers, shorts-&-wellies at Glastonbury, all trends started by her. And now she's got a clothing range in Topshop which, although she doesn’t design them herself, has some amazing looks.

She has been on over 300 magazine covers, she’s shorter than the average model, and in 2007 she became the 2nd richest supermodel according to Forbes.

I love her figure because she’s shorter than the average model and she was so thin in the 90s that people speculated that she was anorexic, but of course she denied it and said “how many times can you say ‘I’m not anorexic.’”

dogs and shizz

Yeahh not said anything interesting for a while...
Well i got a new puppy!
He's a Jack Russel Terrier and his name is Max :)
He's about 4 months old and we got him at 8 weeks, and he's really really annoying me. although, we've managed to train him not to jump up as much and to sit, so he's getting better, and he doesn't think that weeing on people is an appropriate greeting gesture anymore.
it's all good!

however, i am grounded, because i'm stupid and swore at my mum saying i don't care about the f**king dog.
on top of that my stepdad-to-be doesn't think i'm mixing with the right crowd, and so wants me to move schools, so that i can never see anyone from my school or a nearby school ever again because they aren't good for me. i have no other friends, i don't want any other friends, i love my boyfriend, i love my best friends, all of them, and i know the friendship won't last forever and ever, but i'd prefer it just to fizzle out naturally than to have them torn away from me and replaced with plastic snobs who like horses and hunting and their daddies are all rich and powerful and they all wear jack wills hoodies and listen to mainstream pop oh god what will happen to me!
me and my emo, screamo rock, me and my gorgeous, amazing boyfriend, me and my brilliant friends, me and my black clothes and messy hair, me and my world. it will all be gone.
it's not happening. i'm not letting it.
bye x

Day 1

Day 1 of 2009 and I’m making a great start. I’ve recorded some material for my first video, which will be about the New Year’s Eve party! i just have a few finishing touches when it comes to editing and it will be posted online. YAY!

I also made a banner using www.mybannermaker.com

<a href="http://www.mybannermaker.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/521/mybanner495ce99769f1azp9.png" alt='Create your own banner at mybannermaker.com!' border=0 /></a><br><a href="http://www.mybannermaker.com/">Make your own banner at MyBannerMaker.com!</a>

that’s the html for it. unfortunately, i don’t know if it will work on here. Teehee.

it looks like this anyhow.

Don’t you just love it?

Bye x

JOHNNY

So I have this friend called Johnny

He’s pretty awesome

He dyes his hair way too much

And gets random piercings all over his face

When I first met him he had black hair, dyed of course, and it looked cool.

but then he got it cut and styled,

and it looked even more AWESOME.

this is him in august.

then he dyed it red, and i drew him.

  he went black again for a bit, but it still looked pretty cool…

now he has his lip pierced and a 15mm stretcher in his left ear…

and now he’s gone…

BLONDE

this is Johnny

he’s awesome

he’s my best friend.

Depressing Lyrics

so i have a lot of pent up emotions

so i like to text my boyfriend and my friends

so sometimes the two get mixed together

i call them potential lyrics

make excuses

but really it’s just poetry.

this is something i text to my boyfriend a few days ago

when we were talking about vicious circles

loops drive people insane, spiraling downward into oblivion, running in circles

but when we’re together we’re looping the loop in an aeroplane

spiraling into the unknown and the future

spinning in circles until we don’t know if we’re thinking or dreaming

or if any of this is real.

this is something i text him just now.

i love you so fucking much i die when your not around :(

but your coming back so I’m restraining myself from drawing blood

restraining myself from tying that knot

and jumping into bittersweet relief

restraining myself because i know I’ll see you soon

I know you’ll come back for me.

I know your coming back.

depressing stuff, huh?

just to clarify, i don’t cut myself, I’m not suicidal

but sometimes i go a little crazy and say things just so that they’ll sound good

and yeah that sounds fake, but i'm trying to write a song, and it gets combined.

he just text me with the next part of the game we’re playing

basically i text him a bunch of letters and he has to work out what they stand for.

so he just text me saying

ilysmbysaaicafab

i think it means i love you so much babe your so awesome and i cant … something. lol

What do YOU think it means? *points at you*

Bye x

Day 4, feeling rough from day 3 :/

so, last night was epic, as far as epic sleepovers go, we listened to a hell of a lot of music, drank a lot of WKDs and watched Red Dragon, yay. Then Hutch got out his “magic mix” and i drank half of it, it was some sort of mix of spirits that tasted rank, just thinking about it makes me want to throw up again lol.

So at Midnight while the others were attempting to watch the exorcist, i was in the bathroom chilling with my friend, the toilet bowl. Still, oodles of fun to be had as I apparently made out with all three of them :/ and yet I still managed to live! i did cut my foot a bit though :/

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of course we watched some films, listened to music, and made out, but the good thing that came out of this was the hilarity of the morning when it snowed! it was like sleeping bag shaped snow angels all over! lol

And while i was throwing up there were some pictures taken, involving hutch and a pair of my sisters knickers. teehee!

oh and i became infatuated with Seb. He’s mine. my lil vampirotic boy :)

Day 3 Epic Sleepover Night

Annoyingly enough, I still haven’t got the video’s working, so I’ll have to send them across to the other computer tomorrow. oh well. I’ve just posted another video, which is just basically a bunch of pictures of me to music. =)

Today and tomorrow, beginning in less than 12 hours, it is Epic Sleepover Night.

Me, Hutch, Seb and Natz are having a sleepover at my house, where we will watch scary films (supplied by Seb) and listen to awesome music (also supplied by Seb), then maybe play some guitar (also supplied by me and Seb), and play twister and strip poker *giggles*. The whole night was Hutch’s idea, but I organized it because it would get too confusing because neither of the guys know Natz too well, and Natz doesn’t know Seb at all, so, me being the only one who had everyone’s details, I organized it. and being me I decided on a whim to say to Hutch “what about a theme? shall we have a themed sleepover? wouldn’t that be hilarious?” and he suggested evening wear. So, me and Natz in pretty dresses, Hutch either in a full blown Tux, and Seb in a sexy black shirt and black trousers. His claim not mine by the way, although he is rather hot. and rather fancying me. and rather insane on guitar. i will marry this one xD

No, I’m not really too bothered about him, and nor is he about me, it’s just a bit of fun.

So, today I was running around Tesco trying to get snacks and enough crisps, and when i get home i sit down, only to find my future stepdad cooking the pizza I’d bought for the sleepover. So i was a bit cross. but oh well, it’s in the fridge now, teehee.

And of course, this would be a drawing of Seb, just for fun teehee!

ok so yes i was very bored.

Tonight, Pictures will be taken. and uploaded. and forced upon you! lol =D